Happy or Unhappy?

I try to think back was I happy or unhappy at this age in my life.........

Well I think I must have been kind of happy as I remember hanging out with friends and having fun - thats happiness isnt it?

I didnt get paid much attention tho and I think this was an issue and still is today approaching 40 years old, I crave attention and hate being ignored or feeling ignored.

I think this could be an explanation for my big interest in boys, if I flirted with them they gave me attention obviously I was a bit naive as they were slightly older than me and looking back it must have appeared I was offering myself on a plate to them all.

I didnt mean to but I loved the fact that they wanted me to be their girlfriend so I was happy to do as they wanted - not sex this came a few years later but kissing and touching were allowed. This made me rather popular....

I didn't understand the full facts of life, it had never been explained to us by mum or dad - we didnt talk about sex in our house, you never saw them naked except my dad that is when he was sleep walking. He obviously slept naked and after he had been to the club on a sunday afternoon he would go for a lie down, often wondering round the house later in the evening totally naked which was funny to me, mum used to shout at him and turn him back in the direction of the bedroom sending him back to bed.

I liked feeling popular - I didnt see I was doing anything wrong.......