Well not exactly sure where to start but I suppose it should really be with my first memory as a child.....Funny but I dont really have any! I have always thought this was strange as people I know comment all the time about when they were little they remember this or at primary school they were best friends with so and so.
Why do I not have any of these memories?
A question I have been asking myself for as long as I can remember.... it bothers me, it worries me and it also makes me rather sad.
My earliest memory is from when I was about 5 not sure exactly but I was at school so must of been around that age. I remember my mum not turning up to collect me and been in a portacabin classroom with my teacher... that is it short and sweet dont know when she came or what happened after, just been with the teacher wondering where mum was.
My next memory was my mattress been thrown out of the bedroom window of our house, to then be burnt on a bonfire in the back garden..... I have questioned this memory and it appears we were moving house - so I suppose it makes sense to burn it rather than transport it. Again I cannot of been much older than 5 but I dont remember moving house or anthing else after that until several years later......
Does this mean I was an unhappy child?
I must say I grew up as a rather unhappy person I have always wanted just to be loved...... where does this all come from I wonder?
My friends have told me in recent years "Life is not like a Mills and Boom" book, yes I know this but why do I feel my life has been so rubbish..... yes there have been good parts but inside I am unhappy and just wish I knew why...
I will explain futher as we go along but dont want to spill everything out in one shot, I need to think/reflect and I also have to "put on my happy brave face" and try to be the perfect Wife and Mother.....
Back soon
x
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